Monday, October 17, 2005

Call it hormones...

call it whatever you want. For the past week, I've been hit with this feeling of "what am I doing?" I wonder if it's the right path for me. I kept worrying that the real reason why I scrapbook was getting lost. It was all becoming business and the meaning was no where to be found. I wondered if I was doing the right things, creating the right things, etc. Then, I came across a layout that was so profound to me that I sat at my desk and cried.

We just received a copy of "Your Scrapbook. Your Story" by Memory Makers. I was flipping through it when I came to page 63 and a layout by Polly McMillan. It's titled New Beginnings and it showcases a photo of toothbrushes. The toothbrushes were the first thing to catch my eye. I read the journaling and my heart sank. I began to cry because I put myself in her lonliness after divorce. It was SO profound that I can't even describe it. I thought about my husband's toothbrush sitting in the medicine cabinet and how I move it every day to get to my own. I wondered how I would handle things if it weren't there. I cried some more. I felt for her. I don't know her but I felt for her. My heart bled for her. It was then that I realized that what we do is right. Scrapbooking is right. It celebrates, remembers, heals. It's time to become refocused again.

6 comments:

tina said...

glad to see your focused again gingy. what you do is so important to me and a lot of others. keep it up girl. we all lose focus sometimes and wonder what we're doing. and sometimes we get lucky enough to have something like that layout make it all a little clearer for us. glad it caught your eye.
xo
Tina

Becky said...

Isn't it amazing when you find something that gives you that clarity? I love that. Totally agree with Tina - we all lose focus sometimes. I'm just grateful for those things that come along that help me bring it back into focus.

Steph said...

okay you just made me cry second hand...I haven't even seen the layout yet.

I completely understand the loss of focus. Sometimes when you're doing what you love everyday you need to take a moment to remember why you love it.

Barb Hogan said...

Glad you're feeling a little better G. I wish there was more I could do to make you feel better. You ARE doing the right thing, but I think that right now it's just hard for you to see it through the mask of exhaustion and pregnancy hormones. Hang in there!

Sharon L said...

oooh...make me sniffle too! aren't hormones the weirdest things ever?

Heather said...

That is one awesome layout...I actually got to hold it in person right after Polly did it...she is a wonderful friend...and I was totally speechless! Scrapbooking is just the best! ;)