Sunday, June 18, 2006

Father's Day...

You know, it's been almost 12 years since I lost my dad and every Father's Day is the same - lonely. I miss him. Even though today I was with my husband and his family, I felt like there was something huge missing and that was my own dad. He passed away when I was 18 - heck, I was BARELY 18. He was diagnosed with cancer in April of my senior year of high school and died by the end of October. Three days before Halloween which was always Dad's favorite holiday. I came home from his funeral and passed out candy. That's what my dad always did. He loved to pass out candy.

Today I looked at my girls and wondered what he thinks of them. I often wonder that. For Maggie's first year, I had a hard time whenever Scott's dad would call himself "Papaw". That was what my dad was to the other grandkids. But, he wasn't here for my girls to call him that. I didn't want him to be replaced. But, I guess you can't replace something you never had. They never had him. That still hurts.

I really don't know the purpose behind my post. I guess it's just to tell you that if you still have your dad here, be sure to thank God for that. And, tell your dad how much he means to you. I don't have many photos of myself with my dad - so take a picture with him. Tell him how much you love him. I wish I would have done that more often.

Let my regret be your lesson...

6 comments:

Sheri said...

awww. {hugs} ginger.
i cherish my dad, and my heart breaks reading your post.
i am so grateful for him, and that my children have him so active in their daily lives.
it's terrifying to think of him not being here.
thank you for sharing your very hard experience with us.

barb Hogan said...

I'm so sorry Ginger. Cancer is so unfair and it totally sucks.

Tina Kenney said...

Ginger...Reading this brings tears to my eyes and pain to my heart for you. I can't even begin to imagine the pain that you feel on a daily basis. Being 18 is hard enough..then to have to endure the loss of your dad...I can't even imagine...
He is looking down on you and is so proud, I know it.
Love you girl.
Tina

Tami said...

Thanks so much for the reminder. I had a friend who was telling me the same story yesterday and how hard it was for her as well. She was blessed though in knowing they would be together again in the future, and I hope you can do the same. ((Hugs))

Anonymous said...

Ginger, Thanks so much for posting your story. I lost my Dad almost 11 years ago and it still hurts like it was yesterday. My oldest son remembers his "bompa" very well which I am grateful for but my youngest son never knew him. Father's Day is hard. Visiting the cemetery wasn't my idea of a celebration but I needed to go there. I remind my friends and my sons to cherish their fathers and spend as much time as possible with them while they're here.
Hugs to you,
Trish

Leslie said...

I feel you completely on this. I just lost my father this April (surgery complications), so this was my first Father's Day without him, and I miss him incredibly. I do not have the same regrets you do. I told my father frequently that I loved him and I took pictures of him - but I never got the chance to write his life story or some of his anecdotes. And when I have a child, they will never know their Grandpa, which is a shame. So I've been busy recreating as much as possible before I forget it. I echo your thoughts: cherish your father and what time you have with him.