I've been avoiding it for a while. I gave up on my diet a few months ago and went hog wild. LITERALLY. Hog wild is definitely the appropriate term. I did not pay attention to anything I ate - did not exercise. My job duties shifted and things have been stressful. But, tonight I realized - THAT IS NO EXCUSE.
I stepped on the scale for the first time in three months. I knew my pants weren't fitting. Quite frankly I have been feeling like shit. Now, I know why. All that weight - the weight I worked so hard to lose - is back.
I am disgusted with myself. I told myself I would not let this happen and I did. It's one of those things where I really wish I could be happy with myself as I am, but I can't. Society doesn't allow me to. My body doesn't allow me to. So, things are changing. TONIGHT.
My mom had just made me some fudge, too. Dammit. Oh well...it's sitting in the fridge and I'm not touching it. I got out the Wii Fit tonight and Maggie and I both worked out for a while. That will become an evening event, especially considering I had to cancel our YMCA membership 2 months ago. Back to the Wii. Back to watching every single thing I ate. Back to trying to change myself.
Such a vicious cycle. Ugh.